Happy Birthday to THE ZONE

THE ZONE turns 5 tomorrow. What began as a little lockdown experiment has become a big part of my professional and creative life. I’m so glad that people have been reading me, and I’m grateful to everyone who has subscribed and commented.

When I look back over the last five years, I’m ashamed of what I haven’t accomplished. A lot of the pieces I have published here have been limp, incoherent, ill-conceived and/or plain tedious.

But at the risk of excuse-making, I hope the failures that have come with the editorial independence of Substack have been matched by some successes. My pinned post “A Guide to THE ZONE” collects pieces that I think are worth reading or even re-reading.

I’ve written straightforward political commentary — on Ukraine, and immigration, and the British government. But I’ve also written about broader things I care about, like animal welfare or internet culture. I’ve written about Poland, where I’m fortunate enough to live, and I’ve written about personal things, like my mental illness and the death of my mum. I’ve written about things I love — like Nick Cave and pro wrestling — and things I hate — like Piers Morgan and oikophobia. I’ve also written about meeting Christopher Hitchens in a dream and not knowing Matthew Perry.

I am absolutely sure that this sort of variety can make me self-indulgent, and for that I apologise, but I hope that it can also keep things fun.

If you’re thinking about starting your own Substack, make sure that you enjoy it — or at least that you get some value beyond other people’s feedback. The chance of getting serious attention or money is slim, and if someone is only thinking about attention and money, they could lose their soul.

Still, every writer wants an audience, if not to affect people then for income or self-gratification. (Kingsley Amis argued that every honest writer should admit to being vain.) If you want an audience, try and write consistently. No one visits a pub if it is always closed. Do you best not to write about what everybody else is writing about, or at least to offer a different take, but without being self-consciously perverse. Be honest with yourself and be honest with your audience. Don’t write about politics and politics alone. You’ll either look like a sociopath or become one.

To celebrate — and, let’s be honest, just to encourage people to subscribe — I’m offering 33% off paid subscriptions for a year. Thanks again to everybody who has read, subscribed to or recommended THE ZONE. It’s a real honour.