The Rest Is Politics: A Review

The moment the aggressively inoffensive jazzy theme music of The Rest Is Politics kicked in I wanted to listen to anything else in the world. I wanted to listen to a teenage Londoner rap about stabbing people. I wanted to listen to a depressed Norwegian man scream about burning churches. I wanted to listen to the howls of the damned. Anything to avoid the mud of mediocrity inching towards me.

The Rest Is Politics is a podcast hosted by former spin doctor Alastair Campbell and veteran diplomat and Conservative politician Rory Stewart. “The podcast’s original premise,” states a profile in the Times, “Had been for two sides of the political divide to disagree agreeably — which they do, mostly.” Ah, yes, the two sides of the political divide. They couldn’t be more different, this pair! A real odd couple. One is an aggressively pro-EU cosmopolitan managerialist and the other is, er, an aggressively pro-EU cosmopolitan managerialist.

On the first episode I listened to, the pair considered the election of the new pro-NATO Czech president Petr Pavel. It’s a good thing, they agreed. I skipped to another episode, where the two discussed the resignation of Nadhim Zahawi. He was right to resign, they agreed, and should have done so earlier. I scrolled down to another episode where Campbell and Stewart discussed Kwasi Kwarteng’s budget. Terrible, they concluded.

Jeez, lads, get away from each other’s throats for once.

Desperately seeking disagreement, I found an episode in which Campbell and Stewart considered whether an excessive amount of people in British cultural life were left-leaning. Stewart thought it might be true but seemed to vaguely imply that it could be because Conservatives — well, other Conservatives — are stupid. Sensing that they had drifted beyond familiar waters, Campbell pointed out that the head of a watchdog investigating the BBC might have been biased towards the Tories. Terrible, Stewart agreed.

Campbell and Stewart’s banter is invariably based around the fact that Campbell is a blokeish football fan and Stewart is an upper-class intellectual. Stewart references the sports at his private school. Campbell chips in: “Did they call it rugby or rugger?” At this point I would have listened to a supercut of Cum Town with only Stav’s laughs.

Granted, I’ve listened to a small selection of episodes and this might be addressed elsewhere but the dynamic doesn’t even make a lot of sense. Stewart seems to frame himself as the effete library-bound half of the podcast but he once walked across Afghanistan. I don’t like his politics but I wouldn’t have had the stones to do that. I doubt many of us would.

The podcast claims to “lift the lid on the secrets of Westminster” and you might at least have thought that two veterans of British and global politics would have some interesting stories. Not a bit of it. On an episode I listened to, Stewart asked Campbell what he remembered about helping to organise Princess Diana’s funeral. Campbell responded with an anecdote by Prince Harry that didn’t involve him in the slightest. Jolly good.

Let’s address the Campbell question. Now, I don’t want to sound like a fan of “cancel culture”. I’m a big boy when it comes to edgy language and out there opinions. But there’s a difference between someone having eccentric ideas and florid language and someone being the PR man behind Britain’s avoidable involvement in the Iraq War.

Say what you like about Henry Kissinger — and there is a lot to say — but he is at least an intelligent and erudite analyst of world affairs. Campbell is an unusually thuggish talking head. That he bangs on about standards in politics and accountability in public life only makes it more hilarious. If there was accountability in public life he would have stayed at home and stuck to mastering the bagpipes.

Campbell and Stewart needn’t listen to me. Their podcast is fantastically successful. In less than a year it has racked up tens of millions of downloads. I’m sure people enjoy listening to it — even if I don’t. But I also think that it appeals to political fantasy. I believe the average fan of The Rest Is Politics has a vague sense that governance should be more grown-up and serious. Use enough terms like petty and silly and political theatre and they think you must be some kind of Churchillian statesman. I wish you could run the country, Alastair and Rory, Campbell and Stewart’s commenters cry. Why!? They don’t seem to have a big idea between them. They just talk with a world-weary above-it-all air that brings a sense of transcendent authoritativeness to people who think that the complex, consequential and value-charged questions of our time just need our leaders to be sensible, to put their heads together, and to reach some kind of elusive middle ground. 

The Times calls the format of the podcast “audaciously basic” and I think that adjective would apply to its ideological premises as well. I’m less sure about the adverb, though. “Suffocatingly” might fit.